tennis, n.Definitions

Tennis is one of the few pastimes where love means nothing.

Tennis is a game that can't be played without raising a racket.

Tennis is the same as ping pong except that the players stand on the table.

Tennis is a sport that no one is more serious about than a weekend player.

Tennis should be played only in the long grass in the meadows - and in the nude.

Tennis is a polite sport: Its chief word is 'sorry' and is full of admiration for the other player.

Tennis is a racquet sport in which two players compete to see who has the shortest temper, the worst memory, the poorest eyesight, and the slowest watch.

Tennis is a socially acceptable outlet for the ferocity of white suburban achievers, who must work even when they play, must compete feverishly even in the presence of friends, must not only beat an opponent but reduce him to a quivering pile of gelatinous pulp, while in the distance the birds make melody and the summer breezes beckon.