viola, n.Definitions

The Viola is the hermaphrodite of the orchestra.

A Viola is different from a trampoline in this: You should take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

The Viola is distinguished from the violin in that that a viola burns longer.

A Viola is distinguished from a violin in this: You can tune the violin.

A Viola is easy to recognize when it is being playing out of tune: it's whenever the bow is moving.

A Viola is distinguished from a coffin in this: the coffin has the dead person on the inside.

A Viola is different from an onion in this: No one cries when you cut up a viola.

The Viola is an awful instrument — the 'real' kind of 'perfect pitch' is throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.