A Dad (n.) is like a lighthouse, ignored in good weather and the entire subject in bad.
A Dad (n.) is graded on a curve so generous that showing up reads as devotion.
A Dad (n.) learns to fix things so his children will always have someone to call.
A Dad (n.) is the first man a child watches be wrong about something and carry on anyway.
The Father (n.) is an ATM machine in trousers.
A Father (n.) is working his son’s way through college.
A Father (n.) is not one who teaches you how to live. Rather, he lives and lets you watch him do it.
The Father (n.) is as overrated as the child — as fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless.
A Father-figure (n.) is authority borrowed when blood did not provide it.
A Father-figure (n.) is like a load-bearing wall added after the house was finished.
A Father-figure (n.) is a role assigned by somebody else and usually noticed years late.
A Father-figure (n.) is a dad you assemble from spare adults.
A Godparent (n.) is chosen for the friendship with the parents, and outlasts it or doesn't.
A Godparent (n.) is like a spare tire, honored to be chosen and hoping never to be used.
A Godparent (n.) gives excellent presents in exchange for never once being asked to babysit.
A Godparent (n.) is appointed at a ceremony to a job that never actually begins.