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Definition.com

A Father is a man with pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.

Definition.com

The Father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a democrat.

Definition.com

A Father is both jedi and sith: Obi-wan kenobi gentle and calming and good and vader, fierce and terrifying.

Definition.com

The Father is a reality-concealing machine, a machine for dishing up lies to kids while secretly believing that he represents reality.

Definition.com

A Father is not one who teaches you how to live. Rather, he lives and lets you watch him do it.