New Year's resolution

resolution

dad joke

masturbation

handjob

one-liner

advertising

tobacco

trivia

condescension

New Year's

apology

making amends

wine

sobriety

napping

2022

dieting

overeating

evil

ice cream

Dairy Queen

is not as good of an idea as it sounds. If one wants to quit all their bad habits for the new year, they would do well to remember that nobody likes a quitter.

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

is always stronger at its birth than at any subsequent period.

A good resolution is always stronger at its birth than at any subsequent period.

is a check you draw on a bank where you have no account.

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

Most New Year's resolutions go in one year and out the other.

is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking resolutions is part of the cycle.

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

is an unrealistic goal you share on social media to get support from friends you never see.

is like the glass in fire alarms-they're only made to be broken.

New Year's resolutions are like the glass in fire alarms-they're only made to be broken.

is often colliding with the old year's habits.

Serious trouble comes when the New Year's resolutions collide with the old year's habits.

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