football

dad joke

Ohio State University

vending machine

quarterback

glasses

coach

pick-up line

leaving

Let's make like a . . . 

referee

trivia

one-liner

my wife left me

Nerf

1980s

being late

lateness

waiting

woman

battle of the sexes

time management

American football

football fan

secret

huddle

Super Bowl

memorabilia

Tom Brady

draft (sport)

someone should invent

capitalism

taxes

crony capitalism

subsidy

stadium

corporate welfare

is just a super complicated escort mission.

is a game where the stadiums are usually filled to capacity, and so are the fans.

Football stadiums are usually filled to capacity - and so are some of the fans.

is a game for trained apes, retarded gorillas wearing helmets and uniforms, surrounded by a mob of drunken monkeys howling the gorillas on.

Football is a game for trained apes. That, in fact, is what most of the players are - retarded gorillas wearing helmets and uniforms. The only thing more debased is the surrounding mob of drunken monkeys howling the gorillas on.

is a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it.

is a sport that makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.

is a sport that is almost as brutal as the price of the tickets.

There's only one thing more brutal than a football game, and that's the price of the tickets.

There are times when one gets the impression that football games should be called the "Battle of the Wounded Knees."

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