The Chair is necessarily uncomfortable — we're about to enter the age of flight before we've even developed a chair that a man can sit in comfortably

A Chair is stilts for your butt.

A Chair is one big body crutch.

The Chair is anti-gravity machine.

The Comb is the musical stave of dead ideas.

The Comb is but a millipede escaped from its proper place.

A Comb has teeth but can’t bite.

Fatherhood is easy enough to get into, but being one can be very rough.

Fatherhood is an instinctual drive — The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and to beget.

Fatherhood is a great responsibility — The best gift from a father to his child is Education and Upbringing.

Fatherhood is less important than motherhood — Maternity is a matter of fact, paternity is a matter of opinion.

A Haircut is never really much of a disaster for men — as they say, the difference is between a good haircut and a bad haircut is this: two weeks.

A Haircut is, when bad, two men’s shame.

A Haircut is essentially a buy-one-get-the-other-99,000 free.

A Haircut is a thing where the longer it is, the shorter it is.