John Major, n.All

John Major is the sort of man your granny would knit a cardigan for: Honest John, Nice John, A good man, sadly fallen among Eurosceptics.

John Major is to leadership what Cyril Smith is to hang-gliding.

John Major is a man who delivers all his statements as though auditioning for the speaking clock.

John Major is a Thatcherite with a grin. He deserved to be called Tinkerbell as all he did was tinker with the problems of the British economy.

John Major is what he is: a man from nowhere, going nowhere, heading for a well-merited obscurity as fast as his mediocre talents can carry him.

John Major is a ditherer and a dodger, a ducker and weaver.