umpire, n.All

An Umpire is like a woman. He makes snap decisions and never reverses them.

MLB umpires are required to wear black underwear in case they split their pants.

The Umpire is a necessary evil to the luxury of baseball, like the odor that follows an automobile.

The Umpire is like a woman: their decisions are hasty and irreversible, and even when they're wrong, they're right.

Umpires wear black underwear, in case they split their pants

Before 1859, umpires would sit behind home plate in a rocking chair

The Umpire is (in Tennis) so unpopular that he is placed on a high chair out of reach of enraged players.

The Umpire is hasty and irreversible, and even when they're wrong, they're right.

An Umpire is an authority on diamonds.

The Umpire is one for whom the greatest applause he can ever get is silence.

The Umpire is a retired baseball player whose eyesight began to fail him