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is the smell of suntan lotion spread over 21,000 tons of hot flesh.

I have smelled what suntan lotion smells like spread over 21,000 tons of hot flesh.

is a week of being the object of over 1,500 professional smiles.

I have in one week been the object of over 1,500 professional smiles.

is capable only of changing the rings under one's eyes from black to tan.

A cruise does nothing for some people except to change the rings under their eyes from black to tan.

is more likely to put one in the red rather than in the pink

A cruise sometimes puts you in the pink, but more often in the red.

is an opportunity for middle-class voyagers to consume mass quantities of food and drink, pursue short-term romance, vomit periodically and take snapshots of an island or port between meals.

1. n An opportunity for middle-class voyagers to consume mass quantities of food and drink, pursue short-term romance, vomit periodically and take snapshots of an island or port between meals.

is prison with the possibility of drowning.

is a vacation where the best places for whale watching are the buffet lines.

When taking a cruise the best places for whale watching are the buffet lines.

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