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Definition.com

A Cactus is a punk cucumber

Definition.com

A Cactus is a plant with barbed wire.

Definition.com

A Cactus is nothing but a heavily armed cucumber.

Definition.com

A Cactus is a terribly sad existence: they stand around all day with their arms stretched out, waiting for a hug that will never come.

Definition.com

The Cactus is the most antisocial plant - they grow in the middle of the desert and still like, “Don’t fucking come near me”.