funeral, n.Definitions

The Funeral is an event you should always go to. Otherwise they won't come to yours.

A Funeral is a public dating event where men can meet one lonely, single, wealthy woman

A Funeral is distinguished from a wedding only in this: one less drunk.

A Funeral is posthumous vanity... that is, the pride, pomp, and circumstance of 'ashes to ashes and dust to dust..

The Funeral is more for the vanity of the living than for the honor of the dead.

The Funeral is How many women would laugh at the funerals of their husbands if it were not the custom to weep?

A Funeral is an event where people say all manner of nice things about you. It's a tragedy you always happen to miss it by just a few days.

A Funeral is a pageant where we prove our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and increase our grief through the same expense