funeral, n.All

A Funeral is a pageant where we prove our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and increase our grief through the same expense

The Funeral is How many women would laugh at the funerals of their husbands if it were not the custom to weep?

Victor Hugo's 1885 funeral drew more than two million people

A Funeral is an event where people say all manner of nice things about you. It's a tragedy you always happen to miss it by just a few days.

The Funeral is more for the vanity of the living than for the honor of the dead.

Did you hear about the kid who drowned?Yeah, his friends all showed up at his funeral with life jackets on; because it's what he would've wanted

A Funeral is posthumous vanity... that is, the pride, pomp, and circumstance of 'ashes to ashes and dust to dust..

A Funeral is a public dating event where men can meet one lonely, single, wealthy woman

A Funeral is distinguished from a wedding only in this: one less drunk.

Andrew Jackson’s parrot had to be removed from his funeral because it wouldn’t stop swearing.

The Funeral is an event you should always go to. Otherwise they won't come to yours.