heaven, n.Definitions

Heaven is dumb, echoing only the dumb.

Heaven is a place where there is no humor.

Heaven is a military autocracy and there is no public opinion in it.

Heaven is a condition of the heart not something that comes 'upon the earth' or 'after death'.

Heaven is a place to go to for the climate, hell for the company.

Heaven is a place so inane, so dull, so useless, so miserable that nobody has ever ventured to describe a whole day in heaven, though plenty of people have described a day at the seaside.

Heaven is a place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

Heaven is by favor... if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out, for, of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable.