heaven, n.All

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?Because if they all went, it would be Hell

Heaven is by favor... if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out, for, of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable.

Heaven is dumb, echoing only the dumb.

Heaven is a place so inane, so dull, so useless, so miserable that nobody has ever ventured to describe a whole day in heaven, though plenty of people have described a day at the seaside.

WHY DO ONLY 30% OF MEN GET INTO HEAVEN?If it were more, it would be Hell

Heaven is a condition of the heart not something that comes 'upon the earth' or 'after death'.

Heaven is a place to go to for the climate, hell for the company.

Heaven is a place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound on yours.

Heaven is a military autocracy and there is no public opinion in it.

Heaven is a place where there is no humor.