Anglicanism (n.) is a church where the schisms are conducted over tea.
Anglicanism (n.) is a church born of a king's divorce and famous for its good manners.
Anglicanism (n.) is the church brand people reach for when they want Protestantism with better furniture.
Anglicanism (n.) is compromise elevated to a sacrament.
Calvinism (n.) is grace with a guest list nobody can read.
Calvinism (n.) is like a lottery drawn before you bought the ticket.
Calvinism (n.) makes hard work a way of checking your own ticket.
Calvinism (n.) is the theology that makes anxiety feel like a doctrine.
A Catholic (n.) is not a real catholic unless he's got so many candles in his house he can't even get fire insurance.
The Catholic (n.) is distinguished from the Jew in that Jews are born with guilt. Catholics have to learn it in school.
A Catholic (n.) believes what the Church teaches and the climate makes no difference.
A Catholic (n.) is raised with the idea that he will die any minute now and if he doesn't live his life in a certain way, this death is an introduction to an eternity of pain.
Catholicism (n.) is a religion at whose center is the rite of eating your god. This is likely a memory of a relationship to some kind of a psychedelic experience of some sort.
Catholicism (n.) is good, strong, thick, stupefying incense smoke.