Academy Awards

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is for actors and actresses to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents. Bob Hope

umer

is like having sex with someone on coke: it all starts out very exciting but, several hours in, you really just want them to finish.

The Oscars are like having sex with someone on coke: it all starts out very exciting but, several hours in, you really just want them to finish.

is two hours of sparkling entertainment packed into a four-hour show.

The Oscars are two hours of sparkling entertainment packed into a four-hour show.

is the only place actors act well enough to actually deserve an Oscar; when they appear happy for the person they lost to.

The only acting you ever see at the Oscars is when people act like they're not mad they lost. Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, "If you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl!"

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