An Attic is a place where you keep something for ten years and then throw it away just two weeks before you need it.

An Attic is where you store all the junk you'd throw away if you didn't have one.

A Beach is a place where you look only half as long to see twice as much.

A Beach is a place where, nowadays, a woman wears less than she wears in bed.

The Beach is where you wear practically nothing at all and it fills with sand.

The Beach is a place where our shoes turn into hourglasses.

A Cemetery is the only place where people never complain about the weather.

The Cemetery is the last resort.

The Cemetery is the country home we all really need.

A Cemetery is a place that would be way more interesting if they put the cause of death on all of the headstones.