An Anniversary is an occassion on which, if you go back to the hotel where you had our honeymoon 25 years before, you might find that it is rundown, too.

Anniversary is like martinis - after a few you don't bother to count them.

An Anniversary is the yesterday you forgot to buy your wife a gift.

An Anniversary is the day on which a husband behaves as he always should.

A Birthday is a good thing, but too many can kill you.

A Birthday is like a bus, never the number you want.

A Birthday is generally celebrated in the US by having the birthday boy or girl blow germs all over a cake, and then serving it to everyone around.

A Birthday is, after 50, just another clod of dirt falling on your grave.