Definitions HQ

The Newspaper (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠best not read. One should not read the Times; one should read the Eternities.

The Newspaper (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠always telling the same story. To read about one robbery or murder or vessel wrecked is to never have to read another, since, if one is acquainted with the principle, there is no reason to concern oneself with a myriad instances and applications.

The Newspaper (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠a thing in which few have ever read any memorable news.

The Newspaper (n.) has ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠its best part in the advertisements, or what is called the business part—the most useful, natural, and respectable.

The Newspaper (n.) holds ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠opinions and sentiments so little considered, so shallow and flimsy, that the very texture of the paper seems to be weaker in that part and to tear the more easily.