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Definition.com

Shaking hands is a premeditated attack on someone else's immune system

Definition.com

Shaking hands is holding someone's hand for like one second.

Definition.com

Shaking hands is just cuddling for businesspeople.

Definition.com

Shaking hands is a sign of trust, with both participants immobilizing their dominant hand.

Definition.com

Shaking hands is just nature's way of spreading germs and killing off the friendly people.