Name The Thing Too Soon

smartphone

is not so smart. If it were, it would have ended that call before I said ‘I told you so’ to my wife.

If my phone were really a smartphone it would have ended that call before I said ‘I told you so’ to my wife.

is the best thing to happen to shitting since the newspaper.

Smartphones: the best thing to happen to shitting since the newspaper.

is an electronic device that tracks your location at all times; which is a feature set that used to be a condition of parole.

An electronic device that tracked your location at all times used to be a condition of parole.

is a device that was designed to keep people looking down, but without a trace of humility.

The smartphone was designed to keep people looking down, but without a trace of humility.

is like religion, it was brought about to keep people closer but ended up doing exactly opposite.

is a little machine that converts electricity and free time into dopamine.