Dictionary, n.One-Liners

I had already had a bad day at work, only to come home and see that someone tore the front most and back most pages out of my dictionary. It went from bad to worse.

My teacher made me memorize six pages of the dictionary.I learned next to nothing.

I downloaded a swearing dictionary from the Pirate Bay and got was a torrent of abuse.

When I lost my dictionary, my wife said, "Why not look upstairs?". I told her "I can't look up anything"!

What a horrible dictionary I just got. The definition it gave for "obfuscate" was confusing and misleading.

I bought my Dad a cheap dictionary for Christmas.He couldn't find the right words to thank me.

Where does Thursday come before Wednesday?In the dictionary

Where did Webster look up the definitions when he wrote the dictionary?

I just came across the absolute worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous.

Why is the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?

Someone gave me a Dictionary that only went up to "tg-"I have no idea what this means

Have you read Webster's Dictionary?'No. I'm waiting until they make it into a movie

They say "You know you've got a good dictionary if it has the definition for fuck". Well, I've got hundreds of magazines that define and show plenty of examples of it"!

If I hit you with a dictionary is it physical or verbal abuse?

I tried looking up ‘opaque’ in the dictionary todayThe definition was not very clear.

I keep telling people gullible isn't in the dictionary.Don't believe me look it up

Have you ever looked up the word “whistle” in the dictionary?I found it a bit under whelming.

If you want sympathy...You can always find it in the dictionary between syphilis and shit.