Give You Away

Open Old Wounds

Facebook

astronaut

outer space

dad joke

relationship

Valentine's Day

pick-up line

one-liner

trivia

Tinder

Instagram

Linkedin

Joseph Stalin

surveillance

alexa

Big Brother

social media

divorce

prank

stalking

antivaxxer

hunting

meme

Thanos

emoji

news

dissertation writing

graduate student

graduate school

is a product invented by a lecherous boy that (a) keeps detailed personal records on more than one billion people; (b) tracks their major life events including, but not limited to: travel, interpersonal relationship status, employment status, and immigration status; (c) maintains a metadata-rich library of photos subject to facial recognition; (d) keeps a detailed profile of their personal interests and affiliations subject to algorithmic processing for advertising and scientific research purposes, including, but not limited to: videos they have watched, comments they have endorsed, third-party articles and websites they have visited and commented on, companies they endorse, people they are associated with, tastes in music, tastes in movies, tastes in literature, religious views, and political views; (e) allows strangers to “poke” them.

Facebook (n.): A product invented by a lecherous boy that (a) keeps detailed personal records on more than one billion people; (b) tracks their major life events including, but not limited to: travel, interpersonal relationship status, employment status, and immigration status; (c) maintains a metadata-rich library of photos subject to facial recognition; (d) keeps a detailed profile of their personal interests and affiliations subject to algorithmic processing for advertising and scientific research purposes, including, but not limited to: videos they have watched, comments they have endorsed, third-party articles and websites they have visited and commented on, companies they endorse, people they are associated with, tastes in music, tastes in movies, tastes in literature, religious views, and political views; (e) allows strangers to “poke” them.

is like jail: you sit around and waste time, write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know.

Facebook is like jail: you sit around and waste time, write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know.

is a woman. A man would never ask, ‘What’s on your mind?’

is still the best way to keep in touch with people you don’t want to keep in touch with.

New social media sites keep popping up, but Facebook is still the best way to keep in touch with people you don’t want to keep in touch with.

Mark Zuckerberg

facebook, n.One-Liners

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