nascar, n.All

Nascar is like dancing with a chainsaw.

Nascar would be much more exciting if, like in a skating rink, every fifteen minutes someone announced it was time to reverse direction.

Nascar is a sport in which to achieve anything, one must be prepared to dabble on the boundary of disaster.

NASCAR drivers lose weight while racing. Because of the high temperatures during a race, the average driver can lose up to 10 pounds worth of weight by sweating.

Nascar is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

Nascar is an outdoor ritual in which grown men in jumpsuits drive around in circles for the pleasure of inebriated car-crash enthusiasts.

Nascar is just someone saying "nice car" with a country accent.

Nascar is simple. You just press the accelerator to the floor and steer left.

Nascar is like balancing an egg on a spoon while shooting the rapids.