scotsman, n.All

The Scotsman is not at home unless he is abroad, just as the English are not happy unless they are miserable, and the Irish are not at peace unless they are at war.

The Scotsman is a man who, before sending his pajamas to the laundry, stuffs a sock in each pocket

The Scotsman is the only golfer who wouldn’t knock a golf ball out of sight

A Scotsman is the only man who sings about auld lang syne and knows what it means.

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?Because a sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away

The Scotsman is one who remembers and cherishes the memory of his forebears, good or bad. There burns alive in him a sense of identity with the dead even to the twentieth generation.

How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass?Very satisfying

A Scotsman is always wise behind the hand.

The Scotsman is a person whose thrift teaches him to take long steps to save shoe leather, but whose caution advises him to take short steps to avoid ripping his pants.

The Scotsman is a very tough sort. They have drive-by head-buttings. A sweatband is considered a silencer.