family tree, n.All

A Family tree is something you pay a little to have looked up, and then pay more to have hushed up.

What is the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?A Genealogist looks up your family tree, whereas a Gynecologist looks up your family bush

A Family tree is like riding in a train backwards: it shows you where you came from, but not where you're going.

The Family tree is often more like a pyramid scheme.

The Family tree is a tree in which the branches are so uninteresting that they are forced to brag about the roots.

The Family tree is the one tree that invariably produces some nuts

A Family tree is, if good, a useful object to climb into society with.

A Family tree is called what it is because if you look hard enough, you'll always find some sap in it.

A Family tree is the only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots.