alcoholic, n.All

An Alcoholic is not one who drinks too much, but one who can't drink enough.

An Alcoholic is one who claims a little too much liquor is just about right.

An Alcoholic is a person who habitually drinks between drinks.

An Alcoholic is a man who, when he buys his ties, has to ask if gin makes them run.

An Alcoholic is a man who goes in to a topless bar for a drink.

An Alcoholic is anybody who drinks more than I do.

An Alcoholic is one who believes the best way to pull himself out of trouble is with a cork screw.

An Alcoholic is One who finds hard drinking the easiest thing to do.