thanksgiving, n.Definitions

Thanksgiving is a great big family holiday... everybody gets together during halftime.

Thanksgiving is a day off that's usually followed by an off day.

Thanksgiving is a day all over America on which families sit down to dinner at the same moment: Halftime.

Thanksgiving is the day Mom stuffs the turkey in the morning and the family in the afternoon.

Thanksgiving is a holiday that always falls on Thursday because the Pilgrims came here in search of a four-day weekend.

Thanksgiving is a day set apart every year to acknowledge God's favor, especially by parents whose sons have survived the football season.

Thanksgiving is a holiday where people take a dead turkey, open up the dead turkey’s ass, or carve out a really big hole in their ass, take some stuffing and shove it inside their dead empty ass, and use the little dead ass as an oven to bake some bread.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday where people travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.