thanksgiving, n.All

Turkey doesn't make you sleepy because of tryptophan. In fact, cheddar cheese contains even more tryptophan.

Thanksgiving is a day all over America on which families sit down to dinner at the same moment: Halftime.

Thanksgiving is the day Mom stuffs the turkey in the morning and the family in the afternoon.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday where people travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Turkey was likely not eaten at the first Thanksgiving. Far more likely it was wildfowl, goose, passenger pigeons, or swans.

Thanksgiving is a holiday that always falls on Thursday because the Pilgrims came here in search of a four-day weekend.

Thanksgiving is a holiday where people take a dead turkey, open up the dead turkey’s ass, or carve out a really big hole in their ass, take some stuffing and shove it inside their dead empty ass, and use the little dead ass as an oven to bake some bread.

Thanksgiving is a day set apart every year to acknowledge God's favor, especially by parents whose sons have survived the football season.

Calvin Coolidge had a pet raccoon named Rebecca whom he saved from being eaten for the 1926 White House Thanksgiving dinner.

Thanksgiving is a great big family holiday... everybody gets together during halftime.

Thanksgiving is a day off that's usually followed by an off day.