caffeine, n.Definitions

Caffeine is liquid anxiety.

Caffeine is one of the four basic food groups.

Caffeine is the world’s most socially accepted drug.

Caffeine is an acceptable drug that mimics low-grade cocaine

Caffeine is the only substance people are proud to be addicted to.

Caffeine is a stimulant, yet coffee shops are stereotypically calm and quiet.

Caffeine is a drug, which makes Starbucks the biggest drug dealer in the world

Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze. It maketh me to wake in green pastures: It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses. It restoreth my buzz: It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction, I will fear no Equal™: For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me. Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks: Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over. Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life: And I will dwell in the House of Mochas forever.