A Progressive (n.) is a hungry or unsuccessful person; hence, an explosive, quixotic fellow with empty pockets and a shallow pate.
A Progressive (n.) steals a label, and clapping it on himself, thinks that he is It.
A Progressive (n.) is a plan for going forward by backing up to mob rule.
A Progressive (n.) is a political piker, who will not play the game according to the rules which he himself devised.
A Progressive (n.) wears his opinions pompadour.
A Progressive (n.) is a reactionary to whom movement and motion are necessary in order to keep warm, and secure gulps and guzzles.
A Progressive (n.) is an obstructionist who grows fat on conservatism and conversation.
A Progressive (n.) has felt the slings and arrows of outrageous success that has come to others.
A Progressive (n.) would recall all decisions that do not uphold his claims.