The Scholar (n.) is a man, long on advice but short on action, who thinks he thinks.
The Scholar (n.) is an impenetrable mass of matter that contains within itself the principle of unchangeability.
The Scholar (n.) is an ornate fossil.
The Scholar (n.) is anybody with a bulging brow and no visible means of support.
The Scholar (n.) draws his breath and salary.
A Scholar (n.) is a deadly ptomain that infests all forms of dynamic thought.
A Scholar (n.) is a medieval owl that roosts in universities, especially those that are endowed.
A Scholar (n.) is a plaster-of-Paris convolute.
A Scholar (n.) is a turtle on whose shell is carved certain hieroglyphic lettering - such as, Ph. D., M. D., LL. D.