laziness, n.One-Liners

I'm not lazy, I'm energy efficient.

I don't call it lying down; I call it landscape mode.

Always give 100 per cent at work12 per cent on Monday, 23 per cent on Tuesday, 40 per cent on Wednesday, 20 per cent on Thursday and 5 per cent on Friday

My wife left me beause she says I'm too lazy to even think for myselfWhat does she ever mean by that?

If you were a rapper, your rap name would be "Lay-Z"

A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 amI told her, "namaste in bed".

My wife left me because I'm lazy and uncaringI said, ‘You woke me at 3 p.m. just to tell me that?"

I always give 110%Oops. Left out the decimal point. I always give 1.10%

Rivers are so lazy. They never get out of their beds

I'm not afraid of hard workYou can tell by the way I fight it.

My boss asked me describe myself in 3 words...Lazy..