twitter, n.All

My wife's leaving me because I spend too much time onlineOr at least that's what she just tweeted.

Twitter is to thank for saving a great many people from a terrifying keeping-?one's-?thoughts-?to-?oneself addiction.

Twitter is made up of tweets, 80% of which are composed by a mere 10% of the 22% of U.S. adults who use the platform

Twitter is a platform on which one uses few words to express fewer ideas

Twitter used to just be called ‘graffiti’

Twitter is the only place one can legally follow women.

Twitter is kind of like putting the voices in your head on speakerphone.

My wife left me because I spend too much time onlineOr at least that’s what she just tweeted

My wife left me this morning during breakfast because of my obsession with TwitterI nearly choked on my #Brown

Twitter is a lot like group therapy … only everyone is talking at once and no one wants to be cured.

Twitter is a technology that ensures that one's thoughts will be ignored by far more people than ever before.

Twitter is something one feels compelled to tell insane people when one sees them on the street talking to themselves