one liner, n.All

My friend was diagnosed with HIV but didn't want me to tell anyoneI promised, and then we both pricked our fingers and made a blood oath just to make extra sure

I attempted suicide and my whole life flashed before my eyeswhich reminded me why I needed to try again

The only thing airlines don't charge for is the bad serviceThey throw that in for free

I just found a carrot, a puddle, two lumps of coal and a suicide note next to our fireHope everything's OK

Son: Dad, how do you feel about abortion? Dad: Go ask your sister Son: But I don't have a…

The wife and I just got divorced. We split the houseI got the outside

I called a suicide hotline in AfghanistanThey got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck

They've got a luggage store in the airport . . .Seriously, how late do you have to be for a flight where you're like, "Fuck it, just grab a pile of clothes. We'll get a bag at the airport"

A One-liner is sass concentrate