alimony, n.All

Alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off her feet, just as income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its.

What do a grenade and a woman have in common?You remove the ring and your whole house is gone

Alimony is giving comfort to the enemy.

Alimony is like paying for a subscription to a magazine that's stopped publication.

Alimony is like pumping gas into another man's car.

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry.

Alimony is like not reporting a lost credit card.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

The wife and I just got divorced. We split the houseI got the outside

A faithful husband is one whose alimony check is always on time.

Alimony is the billing without the cooing.