celery, n.All

Why did the rabbits go on strike?They wanted a better celery

Celery is not a zero-calorie food. Neither is any other food.

Celery has negative calories, meaning it takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it.

Why did the boss bring his angry employee a salad?Because he had been demanding a celery increase for weeks

Celery is a ranch canoe

Celery is as fresh and clean as a rainy day after a spell of heat. It crackles pleasantly in the mouth.... it should be eaten alone, for it is the only food which one really wants to hear oneself eat.

Celery is a vegetable which, when eaten raw, develops the jaw.

Celery is crunchy water

Celery is the only food that has both ranch dressing and peanut butter as acceptable toppings.

Celery is a food which you can't eat without sounding like you are stepping on a basket

Gorillas' second favorite food (in the zoo) after bananas, is celery