detective, n.All

A Detective is only a policeman with smaller feet.

What do you call an alligator detective?An investigator

What do you call an alligator in a vest?An investigator

Why don’t detectives make good vegetarians?Because they’re always on steak-outs

My wife said she could no longer take my obsession with detective stories and that she wanted to split upGood idea I replied, "We can cover more ground that way"

A Detective is one for whom a surprise party is the ultimate insult.