mattress, n.All

A Mattress is a 2-D couch

Confucius say ... best time to buy new mattress at first sign of spring

A Mattress is Paul Bunyan's wive's maxi pad

A Mattress is a wireless charging pad for the human body

A Mattress is a fart muffler.

A Mattress is a pillow for your whole body

Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?

A Mattress is a human-sized sponge for bodily secretions

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?