Ripen In The Hallway

tomato

lettuce

bacon

dad joke

repairing

sunlight

trivia

heat

ripening

gene

hurrying

Let's make like a . . . 

vegetable

Arkansas

fruit

witch

werewolf

potato

GMO | genetically modified organism

genetic engineering

pronunciation

getting high

magic mushroom

rabbit

Things That Look Like Other Things

evil

pineapple

pizza

banana

strawberry

watermelon

berry

accumulation by dispossession

gardening

cheese

pasta

quesadilla

carbohydrate

genes

spicyness

is not "technically a fruit" unless you’re willing to drink it in a milkshake.

Don’t tell me a tomato is "technically a fruit" unless you’re willing to drink it in a milkshake.

is lusty, yet there runs through it an undercurrent of frivolity.

The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent, not of passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious.

is a homegrown fruit which, while eating, it is hard to think anything but pleasant thoughts.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

is all important. A world without them is like a string quartet without violins.

A world without tomatoes is like a string quartet without violins.

corn

fertilizer

urin

tomato, n.All

tomato