Misery (n.) is losing one's own faculty: a horse that cannot run, a dog that cannot track, a man who has lost his kindness and trustworthiness — not one who cannot strangle lions.
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Definition.com
Misery (n.) of a horse is not being unable to sing "cuckoo" but being unable to run; of a man, not being unable to choke lions, but having lost his kindness and faithfulness.
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Misery (n.) is precisely this: I want something and it doesn't happen; I don't want something and it does.
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Misery (n.) has a single cause: not knowing how to apply our preconceptions to particular cases.
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Misery (n.) is almost always a mistake about territory: resting your happiness on things that are not up to you.