beer, n.One-Liners

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow deathBut then again, I'm in no hurry

Booze booze the magical drink the more you drink the less you feel the less you feel the better the deal so drink booze for every meal

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

Always be sure to have a warm heart and a cold beer

Husband: "I love you" Wife: "Is that you or the beer talking?"Husband: "It's me talking … to the beer"

Drink green beer!It counts as a vegetable!

I was looking in the mirror yesterday, admiring my six-pack. Then I took it back to the kitchen and put it in the fridge

A man enters a store and says: "a growler of your best beer please." "Did you bring a growler?"You're speaking to it. Fill 'er up

Two reasons I don't give money to homeless people:1. They would spend it on alcohol. 2. I want to spend it on alcohol

I'm off for a quiet beerFollowed by fourteen noisy ones