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One-Liner.com

Alcohol won't mend a broken heart.But that doesn't mean I won't try it again tonight.

One-Liner.com

No, no, no. It's 'absinthe" makes the heart grow fonder.

One-Liner.com

Autocorrect Changed: 'Morning Run' to 'Morning Rum'. . . Change of plans, guys

One-Liner.com

Two reasons I don't give money to homeless people:1. They would spend it on alcohol. 2. I want to spend it on alcohol

One-Liner.com

"This whisky is 20 years old."Don't let it live another minute

One-Liner.com

Some people find drinking boring, but I find it intoxicating

One-Liner.com

Booze booze the magical drink the more you drink the less you feel the less you feel the better the deal so drink booze for every meal

One-Liner.com

We never knew he was a drunk...until he showed up to work sober

One-Liner.com

I've never gone to bed with an ugly womanbut I've woken up with a few

One-Liner.com

Not to go get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution

One-Liner.com

I distrust camels . . .. . . and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

One-Liner.com

Drink green beer!It counts as a vegetable!

One-Liner.com

A camel can apparently work 10 days without drinking. So what? I can drink 10 days without working

One-Liner.com

I'm not an alcoholicI can stop drinking any time I've got no money

One-Liner.com

Sir, could you please step out of the vehicle?'I'm too drunk, you get in."

One-Liner.com

I won't say the liquor in this place is wateredbut if you want a chaser, they give you a double

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