Alcohol won't mend a broken heart.But that doesn't mean I won't try it again tonight.
No, no, no. It's 'absinthe" makes the heart grow fonder.
Autocorrect Changed: 'Morning Run' to 'Morning Rum'. . . Change of plans, guys
Two reasons I don't give money to homeless people:1. They would spend it on alcohol. 2. I want to spend it on alcohol
"This whisky is 20 years old."Don't let it live another minute
Some people find drinking boring, but I find it intoxicating
Booze booze the magical drink the more you drink the less you feel the less you feel the better the deal so drink booze for every meal
We never knew he was a drunk...until he showed up to work sober
I've never gone to bed with an ugly womanbut I've woken up with a few
Not to go get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution
I distrust camels . . .. . . and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Drink green beer!It counts as a vegetable!
A camel can apparently work 10 days without drinking. So what? I can drink 10 days without working
I'm not an alcoholicI can stop drinking any time I've got no money
Sir, could you please step out of the vehicle?'I'm too drunk, you get in."
I won't say the liquor in this place is wateredbut if you want a chaser, they give you a double