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Heterosexual melancholia (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠instituted and kept up by culture as the price of stable gender identities bound together by opposing desires.

Heterosexual melancholia (n.) believes ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠that the “literal” penis or vagina causes desire — the disavowed homosexuality returning as self-evident anatomy.

Heterosexual melancholia (n.) makes ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠the 'truest' lesbian melancholic the strictly straight woman and the 'truest' gay male melancholic the strictly straight man.

Heterosexual melancholia (n.) is ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠gender melancholy: the stricter and more stable the gender, the less resolved the original loss — rigid gender boundaries hide an unmourned first love.

Heterosexual melancholia (n.) has ⁠​‌​​​‌​​​‌​‌‌​​​​‌​‌​​‌‌​‌​​‌​​​​​‌‌​​‌​​​‌‌​‌‌​⁠the straight man become — mime, cite, assume — the man he 'never' loved and 'never' grieved; what is most apparently performed as gender is the symptom of a pervasive disavowal.