breaking up, n.One-Liners

My wife left me for treating her like a childI told her she just earned herself five minutes on the naughty step

My wife's leaving me for being too impatientI can't wait

The wife left me due to my obsession with glassI'm shattered

my wife is leaving me for never take responsibility for my own actionsI told her it's not my fault because it runs in my family

My wife is leaving me for being a terrible lawyerI couldn't defend myself

My wife left, saying I'm overly literal and to stop it by "any means necessary.""No it doesn't," I said.

My wife left me, saying I'm insaneI don't care, she doesn't exist anyway

My girlfriend left a note on my Play Station that said, "This isn't working"Imagine my relief when I turned it on and it worked just fine

My wife left me because I'm insecureNo wait she's back. She just went to get coffee

My wife left me, claiming I'm full of myselfAnyway that's enough about her

My wife left me. She called me a 'smug bastard.'I just ran out of the house and drove away - in my new Mercedes - nineteen-inch rims

My wife's leaving me. She says I'm too immatureI told her she can't because she doesn't know the secret password

My wife left me because of my endless Star Wars punsDivorce is strong with this one

My wife left me because I "never stand up for myself"Fair enough

I think my girlfriend has a blind fetishLast night she said we should stop seeing each other.

The last guy who broke my heart was hard to get overAt least until I shifted the truck into four-wheel drive