divorce, n.One-Liners

My wife left me because I’m not very approachableIt was the harshest email I ever got.

My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopesIt really Taurus apart

My wife's leaving me. She says I'm too immatureI told her she can't because she doesn't know the secret password

My wife left, saying I'm overly literal and to stop it by "any means necessary.""No it doesn't," I said.

My wife said she was leaving me because of my lack of vocabularyI was lost for words

My wife is leaving me because I have no sense of direction.well, I packed up my stuff and right.

The wife left me due to my obsession with glassI'm shattered

my wife is leaving me for never take responsibility for my own actionsI told her it's not my fault because it runs in my family

My wife left me. She called me a 'smug bastard.'I just ran out of the house and drove away - in my new Mercedes - nineteen-inch rims

My wife left me because I "never stand up for myself"Fair enough

My wife's leaving me for being too impatientI can't wait

My wife left me, claiming I'm full of myselfAnyway that's enough about her

my wife left, me saying she was tired of my rabbit jokesIt sounded to me like she was splitting hares

My wife left me, saying I'm insaneI don't care, she doesn't exist anyway

The wife and I just got divorced. We split the houseI got the outside

My wife said she was going to leave me if I didn't stop being so sarcasticI really I should have thought of a better response than 'Oooooh, I'm soooo scared.'

My wife is leaving me for being a terrible lawyerI couldn't defend myself

My wife's leaving me because I never take her seriouslyIt's OK though, she'll be back tomorrow

Top Causes of Divorce4. Finances 3. Infidelity 2. Lack of Intimacy 1. Thermostat Wars

My wife says I'm too controlling and she's leaving me.It's OK though, I'm not letting her