dating, n.One-Liners

I don't make mistakesI date them

So weird that I can't seem to get a girlfriend even though I can speak two languages fluentlyEnglish and Klingon

I only go out with fat womenI do it so I can tell people I've been with tons of women

I went to this new French restaurant on a blind dateShe had frog's legs and chicken breasts but her personality was absolutely fantastic

I like to keep my girlfriend on her toesSo I've been teaching her ballet

Stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter

A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky.A woman already knows

I dated a girl with a lazy eye onceIt turns out she was seeing someone else on the side

So, what's the smoothest way to tell your dinner date that she has to get something of equal or lesser value?

No, I'm not singleI'm in a long-distance relationship because my girlfriend lives in the future