onion, n.All

Cats are allergic to grapes, raisins, onions, garlic, and chives

An Onion is the only thing that will make a cynic shed tears.

Onions are part of the lily family

An Onion is a vegetable that builds you up physically and tears you down socially.

An Onion is an angry fire apple

The Onion is not self-righteous like the proletarian potato, nor a siren like the apple, not a show-off like the banana.

The Onion is the only food-stuff that causes tears prior to being served.

The Onion is smelled by the eyes.

The Onion is not to be eaten, for its smell will reveal that one is a peasant.

The Onion is able to make even Heirs and Widows weep.