dog, n.One-Liners

Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.~ Pavlov's Dog

I finally managed to teach my dog to beg. Last night he came home with $15.Serious One-liners

My friend wanted me to help her start a dog collection.So I gave her a couple of pointers.

A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikesI told him my dogs don't even own bikes

A fat dog is a sure sign that you're not getting enough exercise.

Dog philosophy: If you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it

I thought it was cute to name my dog 'trouble' . . .but I keep getting beaten up whenever I lose him

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

I went to the zoo the other day, but all it had was a dog in a cageIt was a shih tzu

I've just bought a guard dog and he's really goodI haven't been able to get inside my house for the past three days

Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?

I once had a dog who really believed he was man's best friendHe kept borrowing money from me

I've been trying to teach my dog to dance, but he's kind of uselessHe's got two left feet

If you think your dog can’t count, try putting three dog treats in your pocket and then give him two of them.

Why do people say, "You've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?

I wonder how many of those cocaine-sniffing dogs have to go to rehab